Bump n’ Bite

Growing up in the Middle East (and India for a few years), being left-handed was kinda frowned upon. That wasn’t the case within my home though. My dad would constantly tease and trick me into trying to figure out which was the correct hand to write with, and whichever hand I used, he’d say, “Are you sure?” Until I got fed-up and told him to leave me and my fat little fingers alone.  My mum, on the other hand, didn’t care which hand I used as long as I was comfortable. She was busy telling my dad to quit bugging me while I played in my own world.

But whenever I went outdoors and had to use my left hand prominently to do something, I was always asked (with a strange expression), “Are you left handed?”

I remember one instance in particular – I was in Grade 7 and hanging out with a bunch of friends at someone’s house. Soon, some finger food was served and as I swooped in to get my share, the 4-5 friends standing around me all turned and stared at me, almost alarmed. Then they burst out laughing at me, saying, “Ewwww! Which hand are you eating with, Sandra?”

Did I mention kids are mean?

Always count on Miss Piggy to feel my pain.

It was at that point that I made a decision to always, always use some cutlery no matter what I eat (of course, 17 years later I don’t care, and eat finger food with my fingers…like a normal person.)

But it seemed like my first world (or in this case third world?) troubles were not over yet. Forget which hand to hold the fork in (don’t even get me started on that!), but while I blissfully ate away, I found myself constantly bumping elbows with my siblings sitting beside me. Goddammit!

Source: BuzzFeed

It’s bad enough that the world we live in is not designed for lefties. But now I can’t even enjoy my favourite piece of meat in peace?! (This is what happens when I get mad. I rhyme. Yes, I’m a badass like that.)

Anyway, after years of bumping n’ biting; and eventually getting pinched by my siblings for being annoying on the dining table (and otherwise), I have finally learned to deal with it.

No, I have not converted to eating with my right hand. I am a woman of principle.

Instead, I make sure I am first to take a seat at the table. That way I choose the corner seat!

Of course, every time I go back home it’s like I’ve travelled back in time, since with five siblings, the table is always over crowded.

Sometimes, you just can’t win.

Until next time, my lovelies.

Stay crunchy,
-S

Happy International Left Handers Day 2015 My Lovelies!!

August 13th is celebrated as International Left Handers Day.

To mark this glorious day, I have decided to resurrect this blog. I started this blog when I was two years younger, 5 gray hair less-er, and a whole lot non-wiser (did you read my earlier post where I explained how I make words up?)

Everyone is born right handed, but only the strongest of people are able to overcome it. – Someone from the Internet

Today’s post is dedicated to some famous left-handed people that had a huge influence on my life. So, in no particular order, here goes:

1. Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow): As much as I hate to admit it, I have my share of “Phoebe-moments.” Factoid: Before getting into acting, Lisa Kudrow helped her father research the relationship between left-handed people and cluster headaches. Pretty. Friggin. Awesome.
   
2. A.J. McLean (and Kevin Richardson) from The Backstreet Boys: My childhood crush (AJ)…sigh. Look at that untucked shirt.
   
3.  Luke Perry: Okay, HE was my childhood crush. Remember Dylan from 90210? Awww yeeaaa!
   
4. Oprah: Nuff said.
   
5. Kermit: Seriously. The star of  The Muppet Show is left handed. And now he’s dating Miss Piggy – my other favourite, after Big Bird from Sesame Street. Factoid: Kermit the frog was originally made out of an old coat belonging to Jim Henson’s mother. And his eyes were Ping Pong balls.
   
6. Prince William: Just like his father Charles, Prince William is a lefty. And apparently, lil’ Prince George also prefers using his left hand for most things.
7. Ned Flanders (The Simpsons): Besides Bart and Marge writing with their left hand, Flanders is also left handed. He owns the store a store in Springfield Mall called The Leftorium, that specializes in products for lefties.
   
8. Eminem: The real slim shady is indeed left handed AND he cuts his own hair! I sometimes cut (segments) of my own hair. I’m just saying.
   
9. Moriarty (from Sherlock): The portrayal of  Moriarty in BBC’s Sherlock is downright creepy…and fantastic! This is one character (after Heath Ledger as The Joker) that scares me to the core. I sometimes have to cover my eyes during the show, since Moriarty terrifies me.
   
10. Jack the Ripper: He was left handed. And he’s on the list because I just got to know he was a lefty.
    

Stay crunchy,
-S

 

Y.M.C.A.

I was at a fund raising event the other day and before I knew it, things got a little “70s-outta-hand” on the dance floor. So while I was singing my heart out and getting my dance on, I noticed the others around me were doing things differently (i.e. besides singing off-key.)

The DJ was playing the legendary “YMCA.” But it was during the chorus that I abruptly got stumped. While I was doing the Y-M-C-A “arm dance” (see below for those of you who were living under a moss-infested rock for the last 40 years), I noticed everyone around me were curling to the left, instead of the right, as they did the “C” of the dance.

YMCA- My way.

Guess you can’t argue with Darth Vader, eh? Source: Pinterest

Isn’t the letter “C” curved to the right?? Have I been doing the only dance I was positively sure I mastered flawlessly, WRONG all my life?!? What disturbed me more was that in the possible *56,879 times that I’ve danced to this song, how have I never noticed that the rest of the world was curling to the left and not the right?! Was there a memo that I didn’t get?

But while I was in my stump-en state (yes, I made that word up. I’m a journalist. Making up words is in my job description. Real talk.), I happened to look to my side and noticed my friend, a fellow “lefty”, also curl to the right as me. Enlightenment struck me once again, my fair friends. I looked to my friend and re-confirmed over the blaring song, “you are left-handed, right?” She nodded buoyantly as she danced along.

I let out a sigh of relief. I wasn’t oblivious or delusional. I was simply left-handed.

On that note, I leave you with this:

                       Source: Pinterest

Until next time,

Stay crunchy.
-S

*Please see my previous post to understand my theory of numbers.

Note: This post was first published on 28/03/2014 09:50 and was imported after switching blog sites.

All Things Right-handed…

It was just another Thursday evening in the school news room. My role for the day was being the Assistant Director for the 4:00 pm news broadcast (which is not a difficult task, unless you struggle with counting down numbers or don’t know how to use a stop watch. Luckily, I managed to dodge both those bullets.)

But lo and behold (here comes the drama), another bullet decided to bite me in the arse…or should I say hand. While I knew how to work a stop watch, this one did not know how I worked. No, really. It was clearly made for the mass-produced, everyday person – with the “start and stop” button made to be pushed by the thumb of a right hand.

I hates this I tell ya, I hates this!

So while I struggled to use the index finger of my left hand to work that ticking time-teller and simultaneously (and gracefully) maneuvered to use a pen to note down time stamps, I cursed the gods of the assembly-line.

I mean, it’s not like there are only two people in the universe that are left-handed. If that were the case, I’d understand. It wouldn’t make sense, you know, in terms of manufacturing costs, infrastructure investment, gross margins, profit maximization…that sorta thing (did I mention I am into financial journalism? That, and Britney Spears pre-shaved-head-days, popcorn, 90s music, hip-hop, factoids, and all things Michael Bublé…so references may be thrown in at random. You have been warned.)

Anyway, I digress. The world’s population is 7,211,557,705 (and counting. According to worldometers.info. Pretty cool site, btw, with tons of random information like “3,183,656 blog posts have been written today!) 

ANYWAY, left-handers consist of 25.27% of the world’s population. That equals, uh, 25.27% of  7,211,557,705 (my calculator could only consume 9-digit numbers, unfortunately. So you would need to do the math yourself. In case you were wondering, I suck at mental math. Or any math for that matter. Ironic, isn’t it. Dammit, Sandra. FOCUS.)  My point is, there are enough left-handed people in the world today for there to be adequate demand for such products. 

Additionally, if you take into account the accomplishments, brain-size, genius cells and creativity nodes in these 25.27% individuals, it surpasses the remaining 74.73% by lightyears (I think I just wandered into the turf of Astrophysics…run away Sandra, run far far away.) 

What I’m trying to say is that it would make life a helluva lot easier for a quarter of the world if a few simple things were widely available to left-handers. I’ve listed some items below:

• Can openers.
• Ball point pens
• Scissors (I was gifted one of these. Yay!)
• Spiral note books (those darn things)
• Desks in class rooms (you know, the ones attached to your seat made specifically for right-handed kids.)
• Stop watches
• Books, in general
• The English script.

The list goes on, but more in the next post.

Oh, and I made up the “25.27%” number. A random number with a decimal point always sounds more legit.  But you get my point. 

Stay crunchy,
-S

PS. The actual number of lefties in the world comprise of about 10-13%.

Note: This post was first published on 06/02/2014 23:09 and was imported after switching blog sites.

The Revelation

I’ve always been clumsy. Not your typical “oops, I did it again” kinda clumsy (Yes, I quoted Britney – I am a late-80’s baby and 90’s kid). But more like “dammit! I dropped a fishing rod in the lake again and while I use my super reflexes to try and stop it from sinking, I entangle my line, cut my finger and drop a can of pop into the lake” kinda clumsy. And no, that did not happen in reality…unless you count me almost losing a fishing rod to the lake on one occasion and dropping a can of pop into a tiny fishing hole when ice fishing on another.

Anyway, after 27 years of trying to deny, ignore, hide, disguise, fight, and finally concede my problem; it dawned on me. Maybe, just maybe, the problem isn’t entirely me. While I generally AM a clumsy person, maybe most of my “natural” clumsiness comes from my natural surroundings, ie. a world made for a right-handed person.

So this is my confessional. This is where I rant and vent about the tiny, but very very annoying hang-ups of being left-handed and having to live in a predominantly right-handed world. This is also where I glorify and celebrate everyone and myself who are left-handed.

With that said, I leave you to explore my musings.

Stay crunchy.
-S

PS. I can sometimes be a tad melodramatic and/or go on a rant. You have been warned.

Source: http://themetapicture.com

Note: This post was first published on 30/01/2014 22:41 and was imported after switching blog sites.